Wednesday, October 14, 2009

conversations between gods

he slowly stepped out from behind the old house, "YOU SEEN SARA?" he yelled in a raspy voice. Sara was his female companion who he had lost in his memories. When he fell asleep his arms were entangled with hers, but as soon as he began to dream he felt a jolt and he was next to her as he had remembered. he slowly pulled his arms from under her, being sure not to wake her, and he made way for the door. As he twisted the door knob he felt reality slip from his mind and down deep into a world of his thoughts that he did not recall.
There they were again, the two guys from the boat. He used to get drunk and cry with them. Only after they had played a game of gin/rummy of course! Jim would always win so he would always make the others cry. Sometimes he wished he could go back to highschool and know what he knows now. If he had wisdom beyond his age he could create as he pleased. Wait how old am I? I feel like i have been living for billions of years but don't think my body would last like it has. I mean, when i really think about it, my body hasnt lasted at all, i mean your body is in it's prime right before you are born. As soon as you aare pushed out, i mean it is so strange that you grow grow grow in Mom's womb and as soon as you are pushed out you are dieing dieing dieing!
i wonder a lot if when we die and we are aware that we are conscious if we can retain what we have experienced and the wisdom we have gained or if it is like a big bang and every bit of what we know is scattered to the edge of the universe.
It is easily recently for my brain to confuse the fuck out of me, causing me to emote rapidly on a wide range of feeling and thought. i must learn to find a place where i can take experiences and sort through what is helping amplify my reasoning behind it and what is hurting and diminish the areas that twist what my intuition, my soul is telling me. i find it so very hard to think only one thought. The time it takes my hands to write things down needs to figure out a way to be a larger amount of time than the amount of time it takes my brain to forget a thought. I really always feel that one and ONLY one true emotion we all have inside of us, everyones is a little different. There is no need to forget anything because we create everything for a reason. We cannot be what we truly desire without knowing what we do not desire. It is up to us to decide who we are and what experiences to create to better understand what we are doing.
Humans don't use enough of their brains. Life is a canvas, i can feel the pulse of the Earth, so GENTLE AND COMFORTING. Sometimes i hear things that i wish i never had heard, but i don't know what people would do with no limitation. without limitation i know that i would generate more energy of love than i have ever imagined in my wildestt dreams. i would transcend my mind and live life directly through my soul and into my body. So that every action i did came from my highest regard for life.the soul runs on the energy that love brings forth.consciousness evolved when the soul runs the body. if the body and it's petty addictions ever start to run the soul, thats when the real problems arise. then the computer of your brain "has a virus!"
Positive comes closer to Negative
Positive falls in LOVE with Negative\
Negative falls in LOVE with Positive
they live in the exact middle of everything.
Love your addictions and you will onlyfeel the negative until you see what not having it does for you.
i imagine scenarios so intently at times, it truly feels like i am actually there.i wish i could go anywhere i wanted for the cost of a pack O' smokes.

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