Monday, October 19, 2009

Anthony and Justin pt. 2 (might be confusing, random point of view changes)

The pen is driven by something beyond what I can physically see. I want to be that which I cannot see. I want to scale through the green rocks, and I will pretend that the end is near. When in actuality, there is no end at all. I cannot begin to start or even finish to end. All I really know is that my life is yours and yours mine. When we see the fallacy of what we know we can learn what we have is beautiful and true. The realization that TIME IS NOW brings me to a place where I CREATE what I need. When I created you I did it for myself but my love for you is equal to my love in totality. Please see that when more than one sinks into the moment, we will change all that we know. If you reach as far as you can and still have no idea what the fuck you are reaching for, you will still get something to build on. Besides, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Unless you empower the cake to somehow CONVINCE YOU to eat it........
If we can convince cake we should never see where we cannot CONVINCE OURSELVES to be what we need to be. From there it's simple; you just pluck the strings on this guitar called LIFE until you hear something you absolutely LOVE! Music is the one true language that we can accurately communicate our emotions without cultural distortion. If you are expressing your music with pure love, the people listening will respond with how they are feeling and about your emotion with their words but these words cannot describe the emotion.
If only using words to describe emotions were possible, it would make life so much fuller. It is fun and rewarding to try though! I want to see if another language can give me new ways to think what I am feeling and express whatever I want to without limitation. Or even change the way some existing feeling FEEL. There is sadness and happiness and there will always be life and death, but I cannot think of a time when my observations ran short of time or effort. When my dreams and my reality come together and their patterns realign I will be back into a moment in which I can evolve to do what I need or desire to do just by expressing my gratitude for the realization of already having all that I desire to be around me.
Let's say, for example, you go have tea with your boss. You have no idea what he wants to talk about. What is the first thing you should say?
You say: "do you like the tea?" and go from there. That way he has another chance to tell you more about himself.
I always smile so that people will wonder what I am thinking because if they do see and do react I can use that opportunity to pick up on what they are feeling. A mental phone tap if you will. I love looking into the eyes, deep into the eyes.
People may go and follow what other people do. Animals may go and follow what other animals do. Machines may run out of batteries. Emotions may run out of brains to dive into. The mass unit we call the universe. Where they became stars that tell the stories of the lives they lived and the tales of the lives you are living this very moment. The cycle goes on forever, when you understand your specific cycle you can use it to gain wisdom and guide your soul. Life is hypnotic and confusing and great and awful....wait what?!
Speeding inward through the black hole In the middle of the brown circle of dust with clouds of white surrounding and a sea of pale mountains of sand as far as the eye can see. The universe was in sight. You started to float towards it with excitement. You felt so free; you couldn’t even feel your body. You franticly screamed when you noticed, at some point in the night you had grown a big beautiful pair of wings. Wings that could take you to places you never imagined. Seeing places you had only once DREAMED of. As you soar into the blackness you see a sight that you have known your whole life, you realize that you have always been aware of everything that has happened or will ever happen to you.
Where should you go from there? Keep floating and go explore that beautiful universe in front of you! You start to hear noises. Irritating, annoying noises. You realize it is the sound of the one thing you HATE most; Human Conversation.
It feels like it will be impossible to block out. The space you are in is dissolving before your eyes. Everything is fading to black, you panic! You must think fast or you could fall...FOREVER!
That’s it! You remember the password your father taught you. He always said to just say this one word to get out of any situation. So you screamed it;
" !" But nothing came out. It was a nightmare that made your HEART clench to your SPINE. The terror of knowing exactly how to fix the situation at hand but being completely unable to act in any way. You've had this feeling once before when your Father was dying of cancer. It seemed like 3 or 4 hours had passed and you had gained possibly a little too much speed during your adventure in floating. The secure warm feeling of knowing you had complete control began building in your base, and you could feel it rising up to your center. Igniting more noticeably in certain places than in others. When it makes it up to the top of your head you feel it EXPLODE out of your chest and circle your entire body. You feel unable to move anything in your body. You have reoriented. You realize what you won’t say or do. I can't believe flying upside down could lead one to such a low part of my emotional balance until I remember where I stand in the creation of everything.
I had no way of even knowing whether or not I truly had different levels of emotion. But I was at least upside down and now covered in snow. The snow was thick and wet. Perfect for building a residence. I dug into the ground and started making a foundation for what would soon be my soul home. The one place I can always return to. As I move the snow I see what looks like a green crystal. When I reach for it, it melts away. The energy I felt was STRANGE at this moment BUT IT FELT RIGHT. I dissolved it into myself so I could have it always.
The walls of my house began turning from snow to wood. I frantically tried to throw up my thought to build the dwelling before I left the place. Lost it. So close. I will return very soon.
"Fuck it!" I thought and I turned around! Looks like I was away for a second too long though. Almost everything was covered in brown/green healthy wood. I quickly found the last remaining section of the wall that still existed in its original, sane form. I latched onto it. I sucked in the thick, moist air like a thirsty desert dweller.
The water made him feel like his mind and body were synchronized in a way he had never imagined. They were merely following a higher order of things. An order to embrace all physical and mental experience he could conceive of a wisdom he had only as a young boy. But it was still only water. He had to concentrate on the disgusting situation at hand. He was going insane, that was now clear. Or I guess it was just starting to get ready to be clear. It was still nothing new to him.
The water coming from the snow was helping me to see everything I needed to begin to understand the building of my foundation. The wood came because I began to get sucked in too fast. It looked appealing and FELT RIGHT but I needed to completely build my foundation.
I got my measuring tape and my other instruments. I kept a journal of all my acquired DATA. Soon my home would be finished. Whoops! I was getting way ahead of myself. I needed to get more people involved! Well I didn’t really have to, it's just always better having more people involved in anything you try and create.
The power of two was/is exponential; evolution could/can be doubled in speed. As I began to gather more people to follow the feeling they enjoyed the most, I began to see that not only is my foundation beginning to fill itself in on its own but its consistency is becoming that of cold marble.
You imagined rubbing up against said marble. Cold marble. So smooth. So chili on a hot day. But you are NEVER home on hot days because you are always so busy in the heat, getting sweaty. I must focus on my goal here when I have my house built and the roof sealed tight I can worry about spending time inside. The time I will spend inside will only be necessary for a small amount of time because when the house is finished you will have more people around you than you could imagine at any moment so time will be meaningless to your existence beyond measuring where you are.

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